A review of my review – the road to improvement.

The Other Side Of Paradise

Comment 1 –  

https://epazarkoski.wordpress.com/2019/08/15/underrepresentation-of-female-characters-preorder-now/

Summary of Pitch –  Emma’s pitch is focused on the under representation of females in video games, and the unfortunate reality that when they are in video games they are at risk of being sexualised.

Contribution –  I provided positive feedback in regards to the information that she presented and how she presented it. In particular the statistics being a really strong point of interest and she further cemented this by providing pictures that allowed the reader to be able to view the information easily.

Engagement – I engaged with the post by providing personal experience with her topic, in which I stated “As someone who plays video games constantly it’s not something that has gone un-noticed, however your pitch really made me aware of how prevalent it is.”

Usefulness – I pointed out to her that she was on the right track in regards…

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